Q. What chords does the band know?
A. Most of the band knows "E." and "A." A couple of the band members also know "B." We think Mitch Albom may know "F-sharp," but we do not allow him to play it except in emergencies.
Q. What kind of songs does the band play?
A. Mainly songs that use the chords "E." and "A."
Q. Does the band do any songs that end with the guys bending over and getting whipped on the buttocks by Amy Tan?
A. Of course.
Q. Who are some famous rock stars who have played with the Remainders?
A. Bruce Springsteen once performed "Gloria" with the band, after we ascertained that he knew the chords "E" and "A." Warren Zevon has also performed several times with the Remainders, as has Roger McGuinn. Nils Lofgren performed with us once, but we had to make him leave the stage because he knew too many chords. The band also once backed up Gloria Gaynor in a version of "I Will Survive" that lasted as long as the Clinton administration.
Q. We are a group of CEOs of major corporations interested in starting a rock band. Can you give us any advice.
A. We can teach you. All we ask in return is that you give us an honest effort. Also the use of your corporate jets.
Q. Do the Remainders ever experience wardrobe malfunction?
A. You've never been to one of our concerts, have you?
Q. What is the story with the Remainderettes? Do they, like, have auditions and stuff?
A. Each year we conduct a worldwide search for Remainderettes. And each year, we decide to stick with the ones we have, because they are unparalleled specimens of talent and feminine beauty. Except for Scott Turow.
Q. At every Remainders show I have been to I have seen women's undergarments thrown on stage. I am curious in your end of show debriefings if there is a consensus as to whose direction most of these bra and underwear sorties are aimed at? And why?
A. We're pretty sure this is all directed at Roy Blount, Jr., who quite frankly could use some new women's undergarments.
Q. What is the morning routine on the tour as far as breakfast and exercise goes? Is there a calisthenics routine? Yoga?
A.We usually get up at dawn, run for 15 miles, meditate for about an hour, then shoot some heroin. Just kidding! We only run 10 miles.
Q. What are Remainder groupies like?
A. Our groupies run the gamut, all the way from librarians in their 50s with a passion for cats, to librarians in their 60s with a passion for cats.
Q. Does the band have a mosh pit policy?
A. For Security Reasons, we can't discuss this.
Q. How often does the band practice?